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A Journey of Growth and

Rediscovery

If there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I am my own toughest critic. Anxiety and I have been long-time frenemies, and no matter how much I achieve, that nagging voice inside always finds a way to whisper, "Is this really good enough?" Unfortunately, during this course, I let that voice get the best of me more times than I’d like to admit. Instead of reaching out for help, I struggled in silence, convinced that asking for support was a sign of failure.

From the very beginning, this course challenged me to reflect on what was working and where I could improve. And trust me, that kind of self-reflection can be both humbling and uncomfortable.

I wanted to excel, but anxiety often made me second-guess myself. I hesitated to ask questions, fearing that I should already know the answers. I withdrew at times, overwhelmed by the workload and my own self-imposed pressure. Despite this, I kept pushing forward, revising and reflecting on assignments, engaging with my core collaboration group, and absorbing as much as I could from the readings, videos, and resources. Meeting deadlines became a personal battle.

The Magazine Club: An Unexpected Gem

One of the biggest surprises for me was how much I enjoyed creating the magazine club. Initially, I doubted my ability to contribute meaningfully, but once I immersed myself in the process, I found my voice again. What started as just another assignment turned into something deeply insightful. It reminded me why I do what I do—why I love engaging students, creating opportunities for discussion, and making learning feel alive. It was more than just an assignment; it was a reminder of my passion for education and mentorship.

Accelerated ADL Option: Pushing My Limits

This part of the course stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. I wanted to take on leadership roles and contribute meaningfully, but fear held me back. There were moments when I hesitated to post or speak up, worried my contributions wouldn’t be good enough. Still, I challenged myself to step outside my comfort zone, to engage, and to trust that my thoughts had value. Looking back, I realize that even though anxiety tried to hold me back, I didn’t let it win entirely. I learned that "growth isn’t about never struggling—it’s about pushing through even when you feel like you can’t" (Fink, 2013).

Final Thoughts: A Lesson in Self-Compassion

If I were grading myself on this experience, I’d say I met most of the key contributions, but I know I could have done more if I had allowed myself to ask for help when I needed it. My inner critic will always find something to nitpick, but what I take away from this journey is that struggling does not equal failing. This course didn’t just refine my skills—it reminded me that I don’t have to do everything alone. And for that, I am truly grateful.

References

Fink, L. D. (2013). Creating significant learning experiences: An integrated approach to designing college courses. Jossey-Bass.

Creating a Significant Learning Environment 

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